SO This is a pretty big topic and a serious one at that, and I actually have to thank tumblr for making me come to many conclusions that before, I was terrified to make or even acknowledge.
I will warn you that since this has to do with sexuality and gender identity, this has what could be considered mature content to some, so read at your own omission.
So for starters, after A LOT of research, self-exploration, and self-analysis, I have discovered I’m not straight, I’m grey-asexual. This discovery comes with years of experience, and the constant realization that throughout my young-adult life, I have had almost zero sexual attraction towards anyone. I have aesthetic appreciation for some, and I often confused close feelings of friendship as a form of romantic attraction, but it apparently took me three years and a lot of work for me to ever feel sexually attracted towards anyone.
(and even then, sex is boring as fuck to me. If I’m in the mood, it’s every six months or so, or more, and even then, it takes a lot of work to get me there) This took a while to figure out, because although I knew I had a lot in common with asexuals, the fact that I occasionally felt sexual attraction for the person I was closest with romantically kept me confused and concerned for myself. BUT THAT IS OVER NOW. I finally have an open dialogue with my fiance about this, and I no longer wonder what the hell is wrong with me anymore! I have the answer. ;u; I’m not broken, just different.
ha, so I said gender identity up there too, and that’s the real kicker. Tbh, I have never been entirely female. I grew up with a serious jealousy for the male gender, and to this day, I have pretty severe penis envy. When I learned about chest binding and cosplaying as the male gender as a teen, I was secretly SO RELIEVED that I could be a boy. This of course, constantly battled against the fact that I’m pretty happy with my lady bits, and the idea of getting rid of them completely for a dick terrified me because I’d lose something I felt was still an integral part of my identity. But this didn’t stop me from craving some way to identify with the male gender. My persona on the internet for the longest time was male. My dragonsona, whom you see as my icon, is male. In all my sexual fantasies, I am a man. (asexuals can have sexual fantasies ok please don't ask questions.)
but I also like my body at the same time. This really brought me to one conclusion. I’m apparently some sort of Genderqueer. For those who don't know, genderqueer is a form of being trans, and is an over-encompassing word for a trans person who's trans identity doesn't fit into a perfect definition. On another note, I’m not entirely sure if I’m genderfluid though. I don’t have ‘more masculine days’ and ‘more feminine days’ as of right now. So far I have literally always felt outside of the gender binary. I wear both masculine and feminine clothing with little care as to which is which and have never identified strongly with either end of the spectrum. Although I crave the chance to be male, I don’t feel unhappy with my body, and tbh I probably only crave it so badly because I’ve been repressing that desire for the sake of conformity. But if I had the tools to change myself without making it permanent, and lose the boobs for a few hours or days, and wear my hair short…. I want it. really badly. I’m so tired of just being a girl, when I’m literally avoiding an entire other half of myself.
So anyway. I’m not changing my pronouns or anything. I still identify more as a female than as a male, so She/her is fine, it’s just crazy to even think of being referred to as something like ‘he’ one day, it’s both invigorating and uplifting, but also scary because it’s unknown to me right now….
The cool thing is, My fiance’s actually really happy about this! He’s bisexual, and I guess one of his underlying concerns was that he was never going to experience being with a guy because he fell in love with a girl first, but apparently since I sorta want to identify as both, he’s not going to miss out after all. 
He’s really excited that I’m accepting some parts of me he’s apparently seen for a while now. It’s nice to have the person I love be so supportive.
ANYWAY, TL;DR, I’M HETERO-ROMANTIC GRAY-A AND GENDERQUEER.
Until I really get to experiment and discover the more masculine side of my identity, I can’t really say for certain if I’m genderfluid yet, but I do know I’ve never just been a girl.
If you really feel a need to police my gender choice and sexuality, please go suck an egg. I’ve spent so much time trying to figure out who I am, and I have been terrified to admit to some things because I know there are people who know me that would say that I’m wrong or just trying to fit in, and I’m sick of it.
if you dislike my identity, or are upset because you dislike change, please re-think your feelings, or unwatch my DA, thank you.
If you reeeaallly feel you have something important to say, and are a close friend of mine, please pm me.
It’s nice to finally get this off of my chest.
